I’ve referenced on this website over and over again that eroticized same-sex attractions are caused by needs for love that haven’t been met. Specifically, for pre-Oedipal disorder, these needs are those which arrive in early childhood. Others have criticized our belief that meeting these needs as children have them met in healthy ways is inappropriate. Thought not everyone uses the term “childish” needs, this is a similar implication. Or rather, the implication is that you don’t need to get your childhood needs met. And certainly, the fact that a man is full-grown complicates matters physically, but not psychologically. Childhood needs can’t be skipped over, they are not silly: they are more fundamental. That’s why God has us need them first. It is on top of meeting our childhood needs that we build the rest of our lives. When people haven’t had their childhood needs filled, they aren’t able to begin the next step in their psychological growth, at least not in a healthy way.
I’ve heard many well-meaning Christians offer terrible advice when someone with SSA reveals their troubles in life. They hear unhelpful messages like “man up”, “grow up”, or the infuriating reference to completely inappropriate 1 Corinthians 13:11. Little do they realize it’s through meeting our childhood needs – our more fundamental needs – that our ability to “man up” comes.